The Halftime show

From 2nd grade to 4th I was enrolled in an after school program at the local YMCA. A large, white van, would be waiting out by the school buses for the 8 or so of us that were taken directly from elementary school to the funky smelling downtown Y. We were not rich kids. We were mostly kids of single mothers. Kids who would, in a matter of years, graduate into the fine world of the latch key generation. We were children, but we were quickly learning the ways of the world.

I learned most of my sexual education from the back of that white YMCA van. Not in a hands on sort of way, but in a shut up and listen sort of way. My friend Jodi and I weren’t cool enough to sit in the back of the van – the sacred temple of 6th graders. Instead we sat one row away, but close enough that we considered ourselves cool by proximity.

The 6th graders knew everything there was to know about sex. They would use their index fingers to draw grossly out of proportion male genitalia on the dirty back windows. They would flirt with whatever Y staff member was sent to fetch us. But mostly they talked.

I learned early on that maxi pads were for babies. That black bras meant that you wanted to have sex. I learned that a blow job was more than I had originally surmised. One of the conversations that has always stuck in my mind was a heated debate over who would be a better lover: Prince or Michael Jackson. The 6th graders were fiercely divided and so the 4th graders were allowed to chime in their thoughts.

Jodi voted for Michael saying that he had all the right moves, or something clever like that. Another 4th grader voiced her vote, although I can’t recall who it was for. But I was the tie breaker and I was terrified of saying the wrong thing. Within this gaping pause the leader of the 6th graders reached from the back row to my elbow, looked me dead in the eyes and purred, “Doesn’t Prince just make you wet?”

Honestly- I had no idea if being wet was a good thing or a bad thing. To me it sounded like a potential bad thing – I mean how mortifying to wet your pants! But there was something about the way it was asked that I just knew this was different. And so I concurred. At the ripe age of 9 (or was it 10?) I declared my love for Prince.

There is always, always, always the voice of that 6th grader that pops into my head whenever I see Prince. Which is why I found myself doing the unthinkable tonight as I watched the half time show with GM and Mother. As soon as the lights when out and the screaming started I proclaimed to no one in particular that Prince just makes me wet.

Luckily my Mother was oblivious and GM thought I was commenting about rain in Miami.

prince halftime

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11 thoughts on “The Halftime show

  1. So, did you notice the “enhancement” Prince showed during the shadow show? Two lesbians and a straight man all recognized it!

  2. What a GREAT story!

    And I LOVED his purple eye shadow. Alack and alas, I missed the majority of it, however, as I used the half time show to load the dishwasher.

    I listened to it, however!

  3. I <3 Prince very much. I feel the same way.

    And yes, Blodnie, we noticed his…endowment as well. What amazes me is that (yes, I know, no “skin” was shown) but that was a seriously “dirty” image. That NO ONE said anything about.

    A small nipple shot? Shudder
    A Huge “erection” shadow? No biggie.

    Sexism anyone?

    Also, anyone else notice that it’s hard to be a “smart” thinking person when watching the commercials? I mean….there has got to be a way to be funny without being sexist or more commonly, homophobic. Snickers ad anyone?

    Oh well. My faves included the auto assembly part/suicide dream, and the Emerald Nuts w/ Robert Goulet. Yeah, I’m weird.

  4. I just watched it on youtube – and I kept looking at his pants, expecting to see somethign, and then I SAW THE SHADOW puppet show!

    hahahahaha

    Totally phallic. But all in shadows, so um, it’s OK?

    har.

  5. 1. My best friend’s name was Jodi.
    2. I went to a similar Y, but I was the only single mom kid. It also smelled funky.
    3. I recall similar conversations about Prince and Michael Jackson. I don’t remember which side I took. Probably neither. If I remember correctly, I was totally into Dolly Parton in the 4th grade. :o)

  6. OK, off topic as I didn’t watch the show and don’t care for Prince. But your banner is suddenly huuuuuge. It was nice yesterday and this morning and now it’s all stretched out. Me no likey any more! I do like it when it is normal size!

  7. I would choose Prince any day of the week – I used to be really into that song “If I Was Your Girlfriend” when I was about 14 and couldn’t figure out why! Your graphic is a little bit stretched for me but not badly – maybe a browser thing? I think the girl on the left looks like Maggie Gyllenhall (I’m soooooooo in lust with those Gyllenhalls)

  8. Just gotta chime in on the Prince love. Yes, he’s always been a little naughty, but I agree with man-annie oakley that he can sure shake his thing and play the guitar.

  9. I would like to agree with the comment made above about the totally homophobic, sexist ads during the superbowl. I even commented to my husband about how disturbing it was that they would get away with it… and even how “moral majority” america probably thought hey were hilarious and justified (unlike body parts or glorified body parts which are a veritable horrorshow). Which brings me around to the point I wanted to make. I looove Prince, I have since I was about 9 or 10 and bought purple Rain on vinyl much to my dads dismay. And oh yes – he makes me wet. And I thought it was so great after all of those horrid little, un-clever, class-less, jerkwad ads to watch him shake his little tiny self, gyrating and squealing, and playing the hell outta that guitar. I beamed from ear to ear and squirmed uncomfortably on the couch…

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