No. The title is not about my possible job. I think they may have offered it to someone else as my phone is determinedly NOT ringing.
Well, it rang last night, and I got all excited, but it was just a straight married woman wanting to know about turkey bastering it (yes, she really did think you used a turkey baster) so that she and her husband didn’t have to get all stressed out about, you know, actually having sex.
I’m being snarky, but I actually think it’s quite sad. I did give her lots of tips and pointers, though. After I stopped myself from biting her head off just because she was unlucky enough NOT to be someone calling to offer me a fantastic job.
No, not that. I rock because Klove got me guitar heros for our wii and it says so. I rock so hard. We both rock together. Because she not only got me the guitar heroes, but she got me an extra guitar for it, too. So we have a red hot career with our band, Pook.
Seriously, I am addicted to this game. I’ve been playing it for hours almost every day. I give Sassa the extra guitar so that I can convince her that she’s playing it, too, so that I can play it while she’s up. I’d like you to know that I’ve beaten the game on Easy, and am now working my way through Medium. Medium is hard as my pinky finger is apparently boneless. Holy crap, people, I used to be a musician, I used to have to use my pinky finger for trills and quick riffs on my (rockin’, of course) bassoon. And now it’s just boneless, lazy, slow, totally not pulling its own weight around here.
The only thing I don’t like about guitar hero is how few female rockers are represented. I mean, there’s Heart’s Barracuda (BARRACUDA!!!) and Pat Benetar’s Hit Me With Your Best Shot. And there’s a few in the bonus songs that you can buy. But where’s Joan Jett? Where’s Susan Tedeschi? Where’s the goddammed Bonnie Raitt??? Why does there have to be such a preponderance of music that sucks lyrically and musically? (obviously I’m not counting the inclusion of Black Magic Woman or Cream’s Summer of Your Love or Pearl Jam’s Even Flow in among the suckage…) Is it too much to ask for a Guitar Hero: Fingerpickin’ Singer/Songwriters of the ’90s?
Probably. While I would cream my pants at the possibility of a Guitar Hero game that included Ani DiFranco, Patty Larkin, Greg Brown, Melissa Ferrick, et al (and I must admit that the irony of such a Guitar Hero game — particularly if it included Ani’s Napoleon or The Million You’ll Never Make — would considerably add to my near-sexual delight while playing that game) I doubt that such a game will make an appearance any time soon. Alas.
So, do you rock out? And what songs do you wish you could riff on your little white plastic guitar with the death’s head stickers?