How sad and devastating that a program about change and awareness completely missed the mark. Actually, I won’t put it all on the program, but I do think it was really unfortunate that the woman selected to participate was so unyielding and rigid in her beliefs.
A quick recap for those that either didn’t watch or don’t have access to this show: Kati, a stay at home Mother of two adopted sons, is asked to live with gay couple, Tom & Dennis and their four adopted sons. The caveat being that Kati strongly believes that neither lesbians nor gays should be allowed to have children. She is given 30 days to live in an unfamiliar environment and through exposure and conversation hopefully gain some perspective that will expand her way of thought.
Except it didn’t happen.
I just finished watching the show and right now I am filled with so much sorrow for such a missed opportunity. I don’t even understand why this woman agreed to be on this show and fear that she might have signed up for all of the wrong reasons.
The root of every single grimace and “moral issue” seemed to be Kati’s upbringing in a specific church that preached definitive ideas about what a marriage is and who is entitled to parent. Kati often cited her faith in God as her reason for not approving of same sex parenting. Even when touring inner city Detroit with a young man that aged out of the foster system in a group home Kati’s solution was that more “Mom/Dad families” need to be recruited.
So many friends of Dennis & Tom welcomed and embraced Kati and went above and beyond to make her comfortable. But when the topic at hand was brought up Kati immediately became defensive and frequently walked away from a conversation in progress. This is a show about same sex parenting, expect to talk about it, but virtually every time the subject was broached Kati seemed shocked or said she felt ganged up on.
The show just made me feel disappointed and sad. Often outraged. I feel like it was an opportunity squandered.
So let’s discuss. If a friend/co-worker/neighbor/family member voiced an opinion opposing same sex parenting (either by adoption or conception) what would you say to them? Do you feel like people can change their minds? Would you risk a friendship to express an opposing view? Have you been able to change a person’s point of view? How?