fertilitee-vee: shows that got me through

I can’t remember feeling passionate about a television show – really, really must-see-ish – until Six Feet Under. We watched and enjoyed 24 – I watched the whole first season alone and then got Wes hooked over a long weekend when he was recovering from surgery, if memory serves. But that was just fun, not seriously good.

I didn’t watch Six Feet Under at first, not having HBO. Melissa’s then boyfriend/now husband taped them all. Taped, like a VHS tape. It wasn’t even that long ago and now it seems just adorable to have a TV show on tape. Anyway, we all passed them around like contraband and before long we were all addicted and sharing one another’s cable once a week so we could see the new episodes.

The final episode of Six Feet Under in 2005 coincided with Melissa moving away from me, off to LA. I will never forget the final, amazing montage of Claire driving away from California and toward a life in New York and knowing that my best friend was about to fly in the opposite direction away from me. She was staying with me at the time, her husband already halfway across the country with the cats. We watched the tape (!) of that episode again the next night and cried all over again.

I was in the midst of the beginnings of ttc drama – scads of the now-IVP got pregnant the month before while I was out of town missing my ovulation thanks to a fabulous cruise. The end of that show was something in which to lose myself.

I wrote a good post about it. Go read it. It’s far better than anything I write lately.

With the demise of Six Feet Under, I was lost. So we threw ourselves in to Season Two of Lost.

I didn’t get into it immediately when it started the year before. I remember seeing the previews and thinking it looked interesting. But I never remember to watch new shows right away. I have to be convinced to let a new show into my life. I need personal recommendations and references and a resume before I accept them into my home. Eventually, those things started trickling in for Lost. And I watched. I watched some random episode in the middle of the first season. It was Kate-centric, I think. The one where she is in Australia and the guy she works for turns her in, I think. I had absolutely NO idea what was going on but I watched the whole thing. I kept announcing to Wes, who was across the mezzanine on the computer, “I have NO IDEA what is going on. I am LOST. Get it? I’m LOST watching Lost! I have NO IDEA what is happening. They should call this show ‘I’M LOST’ instead of just Lost. What the hell is going on? I don’t know. And still I am watching it.” He was not that interested. And then I kept forgetting to watch it so I missed most of the season. So we bought the DVD. And we were both hooked immediately.

So Lost got me through my first ttc break and has been there for me ever since.


And then there was the miscarriage.

I got through it by watching medical dramas. That may seem weird, but it was apparently where my mind wanted to be. I wanted to watch procedures and surgeries and cases of hardcore difficulty. And I needed some snark. So it was House, which I had watched sporadically but began ordering on Netflix, and Grey’s Anatomy, which I believe Asia dropped off with me as part of my miscarriage care package.

I still love House with a white hot passion but I haven’t watched Grey’s at all this last year or so. I have totally lost track of it. It makes me think of the bad period. And I find Meredith Grey to be a strange, watery character. I want to like her more than I really do. It was all about Sandra Oh and Izzy and George for me. And I don’t think Mc-Whatever-She-Calls-Him is actually cute.


Through it all, there has always been Bravo. I watched Project Runway for the first time as part of a marathon of Season One shortly before the second season was to begin. Is there any better time to discover a new series love than before the second season? You can catch up quickly and then the next batch is right there ready to go. It’s a gorgeous thing.

Once I was hooked on Runway, there was no stopping me. I discovered that I will watch ANYTHING Bravo airs. A reality show about cutting hair? Yes, please. That strange show about the hotel? Yes, fine. Flipping houses with an OCD nightmare man? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Stand-up and/or series with a D level celebrity who bashes other celebrities (even though I don’t actually follow celebrity gossip in the first place)? LOVE. IT. And that doesn’t even mention actual quality like Top Chef.

Pregnancy was when my Bravo addiction really took off. Last summer when I was huge and unhappy, I just stayed on the couch with marathons of old seasons of… anything. And that continued after Beck was born. I roped my mother-in-law into my Runway love when she was here, causing her to stay up LONG past her usual bedtime to watch an entire season that I had seen probably five times already. What can I say? I had a 6 day old baby and familiar, calming sights like Tim Gunn were very welcome.


Big Love. Loved big. Wes doesn’t like the main guy so can’t enjoy it but does enjoy speculating on what our life will be like when I choose my sister wives (you know who you are).


In my first few months of motherhood, I needed TV more than I have ever needed it before. I needed something to make me stop crying about my “lost life” and my constant breastfeeding and the scary baby beast completely dependent on me.

Somehow, I was the only woman on earth who had never watched Sex and the City (except for one episode I saw once in the waiting room when I went to the gay/lesbian health clinic). And my sister had the whole series on DVD. This was when we were living on the bedroom level of our home – no kitchen, just us in less than 600 sq ft existing of 2 bedrooms and a bathroom with a baby and four pets. I would just sit in the chair and nurse and watch Sex and the City. And it made things OK.

Then I got Weeds on Netflix and felt even better. I liked it so much that I bought it for Wes for Christmas so I could hook him, too.


And now?

Still with the Bravo love. Serious love.

Loved loved loved Lost this season.

Supernanny. Always loved her but actively seeking her out now. This show can make you feel extremely competent as a parent by comparison.

The Office (US) – now that I have a DVR, we are catching up on old ones and we are still talking about this season’s finale which was hysterical.

Bourdain – No Reservations – again, the DVR made me love you. I had seen it and liked it but never would have remembered to seek it out at particular times. Now I can see him pretty much whenever I want.

That damn dog grooming reality show that Cali made us watch – we think this is some of the worst TV ever, especially Jai from Queer Eye delivering those TERRIBLE dog puns week after week. And yet… I keep turning it on in order to torment Wes. And then he got a letter asking him to donate a dog bed to some event where Jorge from this ridiculous show will be the guest. Please don’t tell me what’s happened for the last 3 weeks or so. We have them freaking DVR’ed. I can’t believe I admitted that.

Cali also made us watch New Amsterdam, which was great. Just saying.

This entry was posted in It's on your tv! by Briar. Bookmark the permalink.

About Briar

* I am a school librarian. In every possible way. * I am married to a wonderful man named Wes. When we met (blind date, 1996) he was female and I was a staunch lesbian. Over time, he realized he was really supposed to have been born a boy and I realized I was really attracted to trans-folk. So it all worked out rather well. * I have a 21 year old stepson. My husband is his mother. Yes. I refer to him on this blog as GMB (Gargantuan Man Boy). * Wes and I both suffer from major, chronic depressive disorders. We have both been free of any catastrophic episodes (and mental hospitals) for more than 8 years, but still - sometimes our house is BIG fun. * I have always wanted to be a mother. Using donor sperm, I started trying to get pregnant in May of 2005. I got my first positive blood test on July 27, 2006 - this was a result of my seventh IUI cycle, my second on Clomid with trigger shots. I used an HCG booster 6dpo to keep my progesterone up (I had a luteal phase defect). On August 29th, when I thought I was 9 weeks pregnant and after seeing the heartbeat the week before, I went for my first OB appt and found out that the baby had died around 8 weeks, 2 days - about 3 days after I saw it. I had a Manual Vacuum Aspiration the next day which was hideous but quick. Pathology report indicated a triploidy - 3 complete sets of chromosomes. Our first try back after the disaster worked. Beckett Ace was born in August 2007. * My mother died when I was 20 years old. She had cervical cancer. She hadn't had a pap smear in more than three years. Please visit your gynecologist regularly. * We have a dog and 2 cats. For many years we had pet rats, too, but they have very short lifespans and broke our hearts. If we hadn't had a baby, I shudder to think how many animals we would have acquired. * I have a pain disorder/syndrome called fibromyalgia. I am in at least some pain nearly all the time. * We both love to travel. Wes loves glaciers and animals and his dream vacations are Antarctica, Patagonia, Galapagos, and Kangaroo Island (Australia). My dream vacation is a World Cruise. * I am frequently bitchy, bitter, angry, moody, cranky, or whiny. It's why you love me.

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